HOW DO I MOURN?

1 Samuel 1: 11, 17 – 27



11 Then David and all the men with him took hold of their clothes and tore them.

As I write this, I am listening to a podcast by Greg Laurie where he is sharing about the grief he experienced when his son died in a car accident.
To have a loved one taken from us hurts. Even though that loved person was saved and we know that hey have gone to heaven, we are happy for them, being in the presence of God, but we selfishly miss their existence in our lives. So we mourn.
There was a time when I had no clue what that was. When I was young, I lost both grandfathers. I witnessed the tears of my family, but I felt nothing. It was the same when my uncle and my cousin passed on.
I felt nothing.
I discovered drugs and alcohol at an early age, and found that I could more easily feel my emotions. But, what I felt was inappropriate emotions, rarely did it make sense when I laughed or cried.
When more loss came to my life, there was still no feeling of grief. So when there was no one else around, I would hit the bottle or whatever, then and only then was I able to express my sorrow.

17 David took up this lament concerning Saul and his son Jonathan,
18 and ordered that the men of Judah be taught this lament of the bow (it is written in the Book of Jashar):
19 "Your glory, O Israel, lies slain on your heights. How the mighty have fallen!
25 "How the mighty have fallen in battle! Jonathan lies slain on your heights.
26 I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women.

Oh how I would have loved to able to feel those feelings when my father passed away, but I was a blank slate. I felt nothing.
It was with waves of crazy emotions when I got sober that I was finally able to feel sadness and mourning over the death of my father. Then those same feelings washed over me for all those friends and relatives that I lost. I had learned to grieve.
I learned that I could feel.

This story of David and the loss he felt over his king and best friend shows me once again that God knows how and what we are to experience in our life.
Mourning a loved one sucks! But, it needs to happen.
We have to be able to give them the respect of remembering their lives, not just shedding a few tears then moving on to somebody else.
I pray that you are able to feel the emotions that I was once unable to.